Diluted Mess

Lonely nights leading me further into a realm of isolation
Can’t find an escape worth fighting for
So I submit to the habits contributing to my rotation
Of a painful demise behind a closed door

Easier to succumb to the demons inside
When my mind and heart have finally died
Pointless days and sleepless nights
Intense emotions reaching new heights

Craving a catharsis but trapped by numbness
Increasing motivation to live less and less
Failing to follow not even a single belief
Make thoughts of death such a relief

Streak of self-destruction ignites full force
Personality evades me
These days are hell, nothing could be worse
Depression is all I see

People are blind to the obvious
I have become a diluted mess
Assuming the role of an abandoned soul
Envisioned success lost in a black hole

delusional memories from an enchanting past
provide comfort but the sentiments don’t last
in the existing state, my reality is absurd
it will be a long wait until the chaos is observed

Lacking sleep, falling deep, Life has lost its charm
nothing matters, nothing speaks, a cause for alarm
running away from the haunting anguish
to find an inner peace is my only wish

Not a string of hope betwixt a night of misery
life exhausts the weakening soul with agony
without a heart to cherish, a moment to await
considering an expiration, just need a date

after years of dreams, goals, aspirations
I find myself distraught with frustrations
Countless struggles feel insurmountable
Give me a sign, help me become viable